A letter....

Dear...

I am sorry that I'm not what you want, or who you want me to be.
I am sorry I am such a disapointment to you.
I am sorry I haven't turned out the way you expected.
I am sorry that nothing I do or have ever done in my life has been right in your eyes.
I am sorry that I am living my life different than you wanted me to.
most of all I am sorry that things have gotten to the point they are between us.

With that being said, I want you to know that I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for you. You have seen me through so much in my life, helped me out so many times and never stopped believing in me. For years I struggled and made so many wrong choices, but there you were never giving up.

Growing up, even though you were working so hard you always made time for me, taking me out hunting, or skating out to play even when you were tired. We took trips we went camping, all kinds of things. Some of the best times in my life are the memories I have of the music fest we travelled to every single year. Raising a teenage girl couldn't of been easy, but you made it seem like it was, always there for me even though I was a royal shit. Let my friends spend the weekends here, if we wanted to go out and needed a ride it was you, you were always there. School field trips you would take time from work to drive us, you always had time for me, for my friends.

Of course things have never always been easy, I went through some things that I regret in so many ways, mainly for what it put you through and how I treated you. I can never take those times back, but still you made me feel like you would never lose faith in me. You pushed me so hard in my school and other things all of which I am very thankful for.

And now here we are, seems like we are drifting apart and have been so for some time. I hate it. You have no idea how much I hate it. Now even more so it feels like I am not good enough, I know you don't agree with the choices I have made.

Now with my daughter I love seeing you spend time with her, making alot of the same memories I have, I want that for her I do. Because once you're gone memories are all any of us will have. And all those memories were the best times in my life and I know they will be in her mind top. But she is not the only one, I also have a son who I know would love to spend time and make memories with you, yes I understand he's going through the terrible two's and can be a pain trust me I know. But for him to be scared of you isn't right.

So I am sorry if I haven't turned out the way you wanted. I am sorry for the distance that is quickly growing between us, but let's face it talking about these types of things have never been either of our strong points.
But I love you, you have always been and always will be the most important man in my life. For all you do and all you have ever done to help me grow and learn and to help me when I was in trouble, and for just being you.
 I love you.
 You will always be my daddy and I will always be your little girl.