Sigh

Alright...Here I go first let me say I LOVE my husband he is so amazing and does so much for me and the kids and puts up with so much shit from me, cuz of the way I am...and My kids god they are amazing and funny and just everything and I love being a mom, I really do most of hte time...but then there are days and lately alot of days where...I hate being married, I hate being a mom
I friggin hate having people rely on me I hate having to get up in the morning and get them up and fed... I hate hearing the word "mom" a million times a day....I wanna run away to a different life where I can go out whenever I want and just piss my life away basically just rely on myself I can spend time at the bars just dancing and drinking and whatever else my heart wants. it's lucky I dont have a driver's license cuz I would probably get in the car and drive and never even look back. I hate it, I hate every minute of it. even worse I hate feeling this way, I mean what fucking parent wants to just up and leave their kids and never looks back just so they can go out and do whatever they want. half the time when they go to give me a hug or something I cringe...that shit ain't fuckin normal and I hate it...I hate it...I hate myself for thinking this way...I don't regret getting married or even meeting my husband...i don't regret my kids I love them so much...but I just want to be alone...all alone.